How To Make This Sound Better, With A Simplier Better
This text discusses the importance of flow in writing and provides strategies to improve it. It explains that in fiction writing, short sentences can create forward movement, while in academic writing, varied sentence lengths can improve the flow of information. Using transitional words and phrases and varying sentence structure can also help enhance flow. The goal is to make the writing easy to follow and establish connections between ideas without causing readers to stop or reread. Simplifying language and improving writing skills by doing writing prompts or taking workshops can also contribute to better flow.
Here's a revised version with a simpler and smoother flow:
"Hello Tia,
Congratulations on addressing the ethical considerations in H&M's marketing. It's a crucial issue that must be dealt with, especially after their past controversial advertisement led to loss of sponsorships, celebrity endorsements, and customers. To change the brand's image, regain customer trust, and ensure future success, it's essential to conduct research that provides insights into developing and implementing new ethical policies. This research should also focus on holding employees accountable for any violations of these policies."
Let me know if you'd like further refinement!
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